Christopher Luke.

I thought about what I could write to summarize this time in our family's life. Little Christopher has been called to the Mozambique Maputo Mission and will be leaving just after his birthday on the 18th of April. This is a sort of exciting and sad time. Christopher's mission is far less advanced than either my own or Phillip's, (both having served in Brazil), in regards to what we are able to do for him. unfortunately if we want to send him anything we will be out of luck, since no postal service can guarantee any post for the missionaries. If he should need anything, we will just have to wire extra money so he can buy it. Less communication, except through emails - which we didn't anticipate. Indeed his first few weeks might be very lonely.

But to prepare us for the two year separation, we spend as much time as we can climbing rocks and mountains together. Christopher has become and exceptional rock climber, in a short amount of time. Which is hard, because it means one more thing to leave.  (above is a picture of us spelunking "spanish moss", which is in Provo Canyon).

When I'm not with Chris, I have a whole frenzy of things to worry about. I run a clothing store at the Gateway Mall, called Bohme Boutique (Bohme rhymes with Rome). Its a riot. I have the best team. Each girl just as capable and vital to the operation and structure of how the team works, and how the store runs.

Recently I went horse back riding with one of my employees (whom I call "Wolfy"), her family boards horses and raises some of their own. I took along a friend, Celeste. The three of us had no idea what was in store. We began on a smaller trail ride, but since we were near their homes, the horses were in a hurry to get back and kept resisting our leading. The afternoon was windy, and as it blew, sounds from the neighborhood and construction carried toward our horses ears. They became anxious and would begin to tug at our reins. My horse, Lucky, was determined to be in control, I wasn't his usual rider, and on more than one occasion I had to stop him altogether to get him to go the way I wanted him to go. He eventual tired and began to follow my lead. I was glad to since I was tired myself of saying, "Lucky, stop!"

The real beast however was coming back.  The horses knew where we were, and were in a hurry to get back. At various points, I had to turn Lucky around completely just to get him to stop. Turning him so he could see the other horses. He was trot and then gallop a little and I would have to call out the old "Lucky, stop!". Wolfy, who is a much more experienced rider, had difficulties of her own, Her horse: Special K, seemed to hate Ponies (Celeste's horse happened to be a pony). And at one point, because Celeste's pony came near her, She kicked out to try and hit it, and bucked Wolf at the same time. She didnt come off the horse, but her sunglasses were thrown from her face and when Wolfy got down to retrieve them, Special K gave Wolfy a hard time before she was able to get back on her. The day came to an end and we were finally back on the horse property. We tried to turn the horses around and take one last picture with the three of us on the horse, but as soon as we would get two to pose, a third would turn around and wander off despite its riders commands. Just as Wolfy and I were suited up and ready to dazzle everyone with a picture that would demonstrate our ever capable jocky-ship, Celeste's pony spotted a huge mound of hay and decided to make a run toward it. Out of nowhere, Celeste and her Pony zipped past us and galloped toward a manger, I could hear Celeste calling out "STOP!" and see her pulling on the reins. As soon as it was near the hay stack it skid to a stop and Celeste pulled on its reins again, to try and get it to turn and come back. By the time, Celeste was back, my horse was restless again and Wolfy and her father had to grab the harness of my horse and bring him around the front. Finally, pretty as a picture we stood, shoulder to shoulder on our horses. No sooner was the picture taken that the horses turned and took their long awaited stand at de-saddling station. (see picture above).

the roots.

It had always been a practical joke for me: anyone can graduate if I can. After I'd sat through two hours of very impressive stories about this years graduating class, I was truly proud of this generation. Soccer teams standing behind a fellow player, hundreds of thousands of dollars in scholarships, record breaking service hours to the local community, and above all, they were all heading into a very uncertain economy and future with a determination to succeed. At least at this school, it seemed like they were taking this recession and spitting it back into the universe and refusing to let it get them down. Some students were going onto Harvard and other Ivy league, but I was mostly proud of my little Christopher. I wont take the time to embarrass him here, but I was so proud of all of the efforts he had made during his time in high school, eagles scouts, state culinary arts first place winner, sterling scholar, national honor society, and being a loving and fair brother amidst all of our family chaos.

Then, Eddy came home. He looked like Eddy, he sounded like Eddy, he even remained laid back and fun loving, but he had all of the experience of ten years of responsibility and understanding. He was still Eddy, only better. (I didn't think that was possible, but apparently is it). Something that struck me on a more personal level was hearing his placement during things like the announcement of the Lisbon, Portugal temple. His perspective on something so grandeur as the construction of a new temple on a country who had had the gospel for so long. The most tender moment I had with Eddy was when he was in a completely different room. I picked up his sketch journal from his mission, lost of beautiful portraits of places he had quickly drawn to remember what it had felt like to be there amongst so much cultured beauty. Portuguese stair wells and buildings, fountains and statues, even missionaries drawn into different settings. But one was something that truly made me smile, a small insignifigant phonograph with horn scribbled into the corner of one of the pages. he made a little note that spoke of a woman and how he wanted to remember her and how this sketch would remind himself of that investigator, and how that investigator had reminded him of me.

I choked up. It was so tender. Thousands of miles away and I got to read about how he thought of the kindness of this woman and that was what I was to him. A loving cousin, thousands of miles away but still on his thoughts. It was enough to brag about: He thought of me, enough to write about me.

I always wish after time passes that I had thought to write down the way someone made me feel or the way they served me. So Eddy will be in this blog, so he might know how grateful I am that I was thought of when there was so much else to think about.

go ask alice.

Today could have been terrible. I mean really terrible. I started out with two failed call backs. Not a good start. But I headed down to play volleyball with some of the other reps. It was interesting to me, that we could all play at a level of low intensity with so many competitive men.

I was exhausted and spent the majority of 2:30-3:40 on J&L's couch trying to catch some needed sleep. I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep and only woke to the sound of a text saying: be down at my car in ten.

I was dropped off on the south side of a street called Mamie. I had been working that area for some time, It wasn't giving me the feedback I had been looking for. I didn't understand why, when I would talk to one neighbor about crime, their next door neighbor would insist their wasn't any. The truth was that this neighborhood had a watch, and all of those who attend the meetings had security systems. It was no coincidence. Most that I spoke with understood that their was really no way to protect the house all the time by simply depending on your neighbors to stick their necks over your gate and yell at an intruder to get off your property, what if they had a gun?

the number one excuse people give me is: "I have my own security system: I have a gun and/or a dog!"
HA! As if pets cant be tamed by bear pepper spray and guns can be used when they typically aren't home (loaded) to use them.

dont think i've tried the bear pepper spray, but oven cleaner seems to be a fan favorite amongst criminals here. People don't seem to understand that vicious dogs are just as vulnerable as an angry man with a gun. If you're willing to use your gun on a human, a pet wont give you a second thought. its such an interesting idea that people can assume that their things are safe because: "nothing has happened yet."
Yet is the key word here.

I turned around and walked and walked until I came on a street called Patton (just like the General). I started on the right side of the street and met with a girl named S------. When we had spoken for a little while she let me know that there had actually been a recent break in just across the street. When we were finished talking I walked over to where she had directed the break in.

Chances are she already had a system, usually when someone is broken into they get a system immediately. She seemed to have a system and before long we were just sitting on her porch step just shooting the breeze. She seemed like a pretty chill person this Alice. We talked about a lot of things even pertaining to spirituality, she told me she was a clairvoyant. Except she didn't use the word clairvoyant. She said all this in a modest way that made me actually believe her. Usually when someone tells me that they can feel energies or read auras, I need a lot of proof.

As a religious person and after having lived in Brazil, even i could say that I can read auras or feel spirits, from the situations i've been in. Energies is a funny one, because its mostly just a matter of reading someones body language or expression. Auras is different but i've met a few of those too, and only two men that I would really trust to say that could tell my character by my aura.

Alice however told me a specific situation and more than one, where she was able to pick up details of the person and where they mostly hung around. It was surprising to hear, id never heard one relatively normal person tell me that without expecting her to tell me something cookee about myself.  The energy around us changed too, as it usually does when you talk about the unknown and especially about the restless.

In the end she wanted the system and I was able to get her approved for one. I went over points again though, which I have a tendency to do, especially when I like the person i'm dealing with.

The Barron (a manager here) was stopped by a woman, who waved him down and was worried because  ADT had been there the week before with Utah plates. Apparently he was pretty sketchy. When I was walking down the street I saw the cop car she called, coming up the street toward the road that the Barron had just driven away from. He called me moments later and told me to avoid that street. That made me laugh, he was mostly upset because she talked to him for half an hour, which took away from his knocking time.

So this one goes out to the woman on Ridgeview. Hopefully you'll be able to stop the real criminals the way you did the Barron, by waving them down and chewing them out.

day two, mississippi law enforcement.

A week or so ago, I had been pulled over by a very rude highway patrolmen.
Believe me when I say that my delinquent days are over. I like the police, (not just the band either), but this cop was downright mean. He came up to the door yelling at me. I mean I guess I understand why he was mad, I was driving faster than the speed limit, endangering myself and others by my recklessness. Yelling however was not necessary.

In Wiggins, a little city in between hattisburg and Duftport, there was a police officer who approached me while I was sitting in another reps car. He distrusted me and the rest of the reps because he saw one of us going into a "strictly black" neighborhood. As the officer put it: "There's only two reasons why white folks go across that bridge. That is to buy dope or sell dope. They don't like white people there. Cops don't even go in there, they shoot at us." I immediately had my coworker on the line, telling him we were coming to get him. after talking with us though, he didnt mind us, and agreed that we needed to be there.

One of my favorite coworkers seems to be a cop magnet. Poor guy. One night in Purvis he had the cops called on him twice, I found out later. It was just an unfortunate misunderstanding, really. He sold to a family and they were all finished with the paperwork when someones mother came over and believed my coworker to be a conman. My coworker went ahead and canceled the sale based on her assumption and gave back the paperwork so he wouldn't have any written record. That still didn't seem to be enough for this woman and soon, the cops tracked him down, further up the street still knocking on doors. The cops didn't give him too many problems or anything. He explained himself and the cops left him alone. I later ran into those same cops at a gas station. They carried on with me for a while and told me they had spoken "to a friend of yours." We all knew who it was, and that made it that much funnier.

When we were in Columbia, a cop pulled one of my managers over. Apparently someone had reported seeing a stranger in the neighborhood, He asked my manager if he was working with security systems, and he said yes and the cop simply said: "good, this city need it." Before the cop just drove off. He told them they had to kick out some other Alarm salesmen. Get this, the officer said: "a couple of weeks ago, there were a couple of break-ins in this neighborhood, people reported seeing white guys in white ski masks breaking into homes. The next day ADT was here." It was just too coincidental, so the cops had to kick them out of the city. The worst part of that story is that if those white guys in white ski masks breaking into homes was an alarm company, than it was just a waste of their time, and good reputation. Columbia already has break ins and druggies and shootings, they already need security systems.

When I called to complain about the cop that pulled me over (yes, i complained about him). The ticket is enough punishment, I don't need someone demoralize me for speeding, along with a gigantic financial burden.... Like he's never sped before. Anyway, I spoke to the master Sargent. The difference was night and day between them. The Sargent was everything the south is known for: hospitality. He made me like cops again. I wondered about Utah cops and if they would be as pleasant. Maybe he knew the cop personally and knew he had an attitude, either way, he made me want to forgive and forget.

I'm positive there is more on this. Its just yet to come. As long as there are countless sales, there will also be countless paranoia. More power to us!

I used to think Bloggers were lame.

I used to think Bloggers were lame. I still do in a way. Even though I've joined their ranks. I believe I am lame in certain ways or on occasion and therefore haven't changed my opinion about blogging completely.
Since there are only so many times that I can write up notes and paste them on my friends facebook walls without them starting to "de-friend" me that I figured, if they wanted to look. They could look.

I decided that the best way to start this would be simply to begin with today. Today will be called "day one", since I cant think of anything better. Yesterday there had been a Tornado warning all along the greater Mississippi area, including but not limited to Hattisburg. I live on the top floor of an apartment building that has surprisingly good air-conditioning, and is much appreciated on hot southern nights. However dangerous this supposed Tornado warning was supposed to be, the storm blew itself out by Morning, and I was left with a beautiful crisp blue day and an uber-silent apartment.

My roommates, whom I shall name Bert and Ernie, are away for the weekend with their families and loved ones to New Orleans. They couldn't have picked a prettier weekend. In celebration of an empty apartment, I spent most of it deep cleaning my bathroom... yes, yes, I know that there were probably more appropriate ways to spend a morning without boys, like say: dancing around my kitchen, or singing in the shower, or maybe, just maybe, pushing all of the furniture to one end of our 10x10 living room and doing tai chi with the balcony doors open. Instead, I decided that it was high time I finally splurged, so I hiked up to best buy (which is about "three Utah blocks" up the road) and bought myself a laptop.

Why the sudden increase to my technological palette? For those who know me, know that I recently and finally finished my computer class last semester. B+ and a huge head ache out of the way. I had an amazing teacher though, and that makes all the difference. I walked right up to the very exclusive, big spenders table full of all the new MacBook novelties, and listened into the conversation between a salesman or "friendly tech" and undoubtedly a future consumer. Since that's all I do, from three thirty to about dusk I enjoyed listening to someone else pitch for a change. the context was different of course, but the subject was the same. example: you are in the market for something we may be offering and my job is to make sure that I make what I have appealing enough, that you buy it.

I had on reflection realized that the reason I decided to buy today, was not because I was in the mood to spend a ton of money that I could have put to good use elsewhere, but because as soon as this same savvy college kid made his way over and asked me what book I was reading, it took the pressure off of the obvious: I was there to buy. We were on a completely different level of entertainment. Books are not Laptops. Where's the link? By reverting the conversation to something he cant sell me, since they dont sell books at best buy, he is instead creating a common bond, which is book reading.

Had I been in a hurry I might have told him bluntly what it was called and then asked how many gigabytes the mac I was looking at held. This salesman, (ill give him the benefit of the doubt) would've probably picked up on my tone and changed to the appropriate subject matter. However, I was still undecided. I knew what I wanted, that's why I was in that best buy, but I wanted him to convince me that I wouldn't regret buying this product. He talked about a book he had read and then asked me which computer i was most interested in. He continued switching back and forth between information on the mac's and about things we had in common. We became friends, an instant friendship, superficial and powerful all at the same time. I wanted to buy from him, you know, help him out - like a good friend would.

MacBook in one hand, and an ownership receipt in the other. The conversation ran long though and the water and watermelon from earlier began weighing down on me. I thought of the three more blocks I would need to walk, or possibly run to get home and use the bathroom. Suddenly our conversation on tagging began to droll on and on in my mind as I thought about where the bathroom might be. I shifted my weight and tried to control my urge to suddenly run for a bathroom. I laughed appropriately, and then excused myself. We will most likely never meet each other again and so even if I had told him that I needed to go and then have cut him off short, it really wouldn't have mattered, but then again, it could have, since we were technically "friends".

I walked back three blocks, pausing appropriately to maintain composure, and after using the long needed restroom, sat down in my apartment and plugged in my new and very white macbook. (don't ask why i didn't just use the best buy bathroom, i like things hard and look for ways to make my life harder, doesn't everyone?) The laptop, however, looked beautiful on our faux-mahogany coffee table. the afternoon sun set in and began glowing through our porch double doors. It looked angelic. My open mouthed awe was cut short by a one o'clock meeting.

The Baron's made us lunch, and I was out on the streets by four thirty. I was determined to get a sale, actually "TWO SALES!" I told myself.  I needed to make every day count. I was walking in a neighborhood where there had been a recent burglary/double homicide. It was supposed to be a safe neighborhood, and yet, this unfortunate event.

I walked right onto the street that this crime had occurred and knocked on the first house on that street that had plenty of cars I could see. A man in his late twenties peered at me through the blinds of one of the windows and after I waved, he let me in and I was soon sitting across from a woman in her 80's. I gave my pitch and was glad to be out of the heat. The whole time I assumed she was a widow until she told me that she would have to talk to her husband about the system. I asked if he was home and if I could talk to him. She went to get him and he and I got along very well. In the end they did opt into becoming one of our advertising homes, but this is where that very awkward moment took place. A girl from a different security company came knocking on the door, she had been there the day of the murder report, an "ambulance chaser" I called them. I had actually been knocking some time in that area, getting the same response: "its a very safe neighborhood" and overnight, swarms of other reps from various regions come imposing on their fears. Silly me, I had stayed away in respect of the event. i also thought that if the if I strike while the iron is too hot, I will be the one to get burned. In any case, there we were, knocking on the same house, at the same time. Me inside. Her outside. She had spoken to them last week. I was speaking to them now. As soon as the woman mentioned me, and the woman didn't understand, i decided that i should just go talk to her. I stood up and walked to the door, smiled and said, "hey elite". her response? "oh....shield."

I'm sure those sort of awkward encounters don't happen very often, but in this case it made for a very rival type feeling. As if she had just broken up with her boyfriend, and when she was coming back to apologize finds her ex with a rival school girl. I felt like it was bad karma and worried about it for another two hours or so. Finally, I decided that I worked with a reputable company and if nothing else I knew at least that I would actually take care of these two people who were now suddenly - even more so than before - in my care. I did, too. I suffered a lot of points with that install, I could have done less but I really wanted them to be taken care of.

I went to frozen yogurt nearby with some co-workers, and I began to realize that I needed to give away two more systems to pay for this mac book.

5/27/2011